The 3 Most Important Things to Do on a Date

Dating is a funny thing. No matter how many dates you go on, it is easy to forget how to do it. And with so many things to think about, it's no wonder we get so nervous. That's why we made a list of the three most important things to keep in mind when you are on a date, even if you have been on more dates than you can count.

Have Fun

If You Just Met the Person

If you are starting fresh, focus on having fun. You are just starting to know this new person in your life (or maybe know them in a new way) and the best thing you can do is to get to know them better. While sitting them down for an intensive three-part interview may seem like the best way to do that, we all know it is really not. We get to know people best when we are relaxed and feel comfortable opening up. Not to mention, sharing an experience means you are making new memories together. You are not just describing who are, but showing your date who you are.

If You Have Been Together Awhile

You know each other pretty well by now and you have decided to keep moving forward. But what does that mean? Lots of couples get to this point and stop getting to know one another. They stop focussing on wooing the other person and they don’t put any effort into their relationship. Instead they get comfortable, eventually get bored of one another, break up, and look for someone to spark their excitement again. Well, you have another option: keep being intentional in your relationship. How? Have fun! If you really like (or possibly love) the person you are with, then build memories together until you know for sure that you can’t possibly live without that other person.

If You Are Married

Marriage is often painted as a big, boring slump, but it shouldn’t be. A lot of your relationship worries are over. You know each other, you know you want to be together, and you have vowed to love each other forever. Whew! Now go celebrate. Make a weekly date night and don’t let it slip by you. After all, you have the excuse (as if you need one) that you are “making your marriage a priority”. And you are. And you should. And you should do that by spending time together, reminding your partner constantly that you love them and chose them and would do it all over again.

(Looking for ways to have more fun? Check out our archive of creative date ideas.)

Put the Other Person First

If You Just Met the Person

Our minds go a million places when we start of dating someone new. We are highly critical of ourselves and probably more highly critical of our date. Is she good enough for me? Is she smart enough? Does he make enough money? Does he attract me? While those may or may not be valid questions, the time you spend thinking them during your date takes time away from getting to know the other person. Don’t spend the whole evening making them prove themselves to you. Instead, be polite, kind, and caring. If you liked this person enough to say yes to a date with them (and we hope that means you knew them a least a little bit), then you were willing to give them an honest chance. So do it. And pray that they do the same for you.

That said, keep your wits about you. If you are uncomfortable or feel unsafe, don’t be afraid to end the date immediately. It is an unfortunate truth that some people have the wrong intentions in dating, which gives you all the more reason to make sure you both have similar intentions beforehand. We assume on our blog that your intentions in dating are to grow a strong, healthy relationship with someone you truly care for.

If You Have Been Together Awhile

If you have gotten past the initial “getting to know each other” stage, putting the other person first may seem counterintuitive. You may be uncertain about how far you want to go in this relationship because you are uncertain about if the person you are with is right for you. You may want to see what lengths the other person is willing to go to be with you. But we believe dating is about mutual giving, not mutual taking. If you like this person enough to be in a relationship with them, then you should like them enough to want to make them feel happy and loved in as many ways as you can. In a good relationship, the other person wants and does the same for you. You mutually demonstrate your love for each other.

If You Are Married

You probably feel like you are putting your spouse first all the time. And your spouse probably feels they are putting you first all the time. Before you get defensive, remind yourself how much you love your spouse and how much you want them to feel your love. Put your focus on how you can show that love to your spouse, not how they can be showing their love for you. As they say, you reap what you sow.

(Read more… How to Ask Someone on a Date)

Be Your True Self

If You Just Met the Person

Especially at the beginning of a relationship, be your true self. If you start your relationship with openness and honesty, it will be much easier to continue with it throughout your relationship. You may have a desire to impress your date by putting on a subtle (or not so subtle) act. However, you want to get to know who your date really is, and they want to get to know you. It does you both a disservice to pretend to be anyone but you.

If You Have Been Together Awhile

You probably have gotten beneath the surface a bit in your relationship, so why focus on being yourself? Whether you realize it or not, you are still always getting to know each other. And you are also now starting to understand yourselves as a couple. So pay attention. Start to let loose a bit and be more vulnerable. Show your true feelings. Being open and honest will strengthen your what you have for one another.

If You are Married

At this point you feel like you must know your spouse completely. But sometimes our walls come up and we are too busy stressing about money, kids, or a thousand other things to be truly vulnerable with our spouse. Don’t let your stress and fears get in the way. Be open. Be honest. Be you.

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